THE ASSIMILATION COMMITTEE

Back in my college days at Washington and Lee University, we had a student-run enforcement panel called the Assimilation Committee. Perhaps they had numerous campus rules to police, but the lone stricture I can recall pertained to the obligatory greeting from one person to another whenever they crossed paths on the university grounds. Be it on the gorgeous colonnade or down some dusky hallway, a “hello” or “good morning” was mandatory behavior. Failure to adhere to this simple politeness could result in one being “assimilated” on the spot, meaning that the disobedient person was honor bound to report himself to the feared committee.   What happened after that, I cannot tell you, having never been assimilated or knowing anyone who was called for this oversight of gentlemanly behavior during my time at the school.

You see, I think that by my time a pleasant greeting had become such a tradition of expectation at W&L that no one ever forgot to exchange pleasantries. In fact, I think folks looked forward to being part of a marvelous human courtesy. At every encounter. Oh, I remember having a friend who announced that he would be bypassing the speaking tradition the next day, as he was studying for exams and thus in no mood to be friendly to anyone. “Hi Boar,” I offered the next day, having forgotten his ornery threat. “Darn it Wipfler, I don’t care to ever see you for the rest of my life,” he grunted in my direction, though I readily heard him chuckling as he continued on his way. After all, he did speak to me, and that was the campus policy!

At camp, I often encounter kids, who, being reticent, avert my gaze and quietly pass me by. My thoughts turn to the Assimilation Committee, or at least to discussing the speaking tradition with the campers at camp meeting. Indeed, I usually make it a point to circle back to that lad, express a most friendly comment, and shake his hand firmly with a “look me straight in the eye” coda to the exchange. Maybe just one or two of them thereafter pondered to themselves, “Well, that was not so bad; maybe even fun.”